In 5 Years Time.

I might not know you,
in five years time
we might not speak at all and
in five years time
we might not get along
in five years time
you might just prove me wrong.
(This song is the song of the day: check the bottom of the post.)



I AM GOING TO GO TO BED EARLY(ISH) FOR THE FIRST TIME IN WHAT FEELS LIKE DECADES. My problem is that I think too much. I need to think much less. ARGH so many things on my mind...

WHY NOT BLOG? tehe. Just kidding. This is creepy.

The best thing happened today, though. I was doing community service with a bunch of my friends: painting with a bunch of kids from a home where boys go if their family life is tough.
I went up to my friend and hugged him from the back, but then he flinched like, violently. I was like, "What?!"
And he said," Oh my god I thought you were the internet!"

BAHAHAH. teheee.

I am going delirious. That word almost looks like delicious. Mmm. Chocolate. Oh my frickin' god I need to go to bed.

If you catch me in school, tell me to write a better blog post next time. Or ACTUALLY because I KNOW YOU GUYS READ IT...request something for me to write about. Such as: I have written about Valentine's day, changing schools...etc.

That is the challenge. Your wish is my command.

Oh and also. You. I don't think you know who you are. But...you mean askjdhaksd so much to me. Woo. Now the internet knows.

Have a great night, erryone. And you. I love you.
Bye. xx

Song of the day: 5 Years Time- Noah and the Whale

Love is...

...taking a dive, then getting really comfortable and peeing in the pool
and love is real life porn minus all the stuff that makes porn cool
and love is a homeless guy searching for treasure in the middle of the rain and finding a bag of gold coins and slowly finding out that theyre all filled with chocolate and even though he's heartbroken he cant complain cause he was hungry in the first place.
-Bo Burnham.

First of all. Bo Burnham is a genius. I just bought his live album. *sigh* Made my life.

Anyway...so much has gone on since my last post.
Um for some reason I feel like a huge tool after writing that sentence...

I don't know anything to write. I've been so so happy ever since coming back to school, and I think it's because I get to see all of my friends :) I really didn't see many of them the second week of break because I worked at the bakery a lot and kind of just couch potato-ed around as well. I was so so sososososo happy, though, to see everyone. I was kind of sad the second week of break...after coming back from Europe. There's a few reasons why :-/

That weird truly happy/sad feeling has carried over into today, as well. A couple of things just made me very happy, but a couple of things are making me so hopeless...

I just want it all to be right.

Buuuuut. I can't complain much. My friend just told me about this girl at his school...and she literally has the WORST life I've ever heard of. I feel like an idiot after complaining to him. It's terrible. I think I just gotta GRASP onto that happy feeling and keep it here.

I'm starting One-Act plays at school. I think they will be really fun. We'll see! Some of the scenes are just fantastic. I hope I get one of my choices, but I doubt I will. There are so many good actors at school and sometimes I just feel so inexperienced. Which I guess I am...
I WILL KEEP TRYING, HOWEVER.

and in the meantime. I will go do my drama homework.
Try to keep me happy. IM me. Facebook me. Comment this.
Please?

*fake desperation*
Oh and also:
http://www.flourandsunbakery.com/
the bakery I work at. COME VISIT ME :-)

Until later,
bye. xx
Song of the Day: Accidentally in Love- Counting Crows


^^One of my favorite pieces of art. I get a picture of one everyday on my Google.

Listen close to everybody's heart.

And hear that breaking sound,
hopes and dreams are shattering apart
and crashing to the ground
-MY EYES, DR. HORRIBLE'S SING ALONG BLOG

There are so SO many things that I could write about right now...I honestly can't even choose.
...OH BOY THAT MEANS IT'S TIME FOR ANOTHER LIST! HOLY COW!

1. THE VIRTUOUS BURGLAR.
Is DONE :( It was a fabulous play and the Saturday night performance (closing night, since there were only two performances) was incredible. I had SIX friends not from my school who came to see me. Everyone hugged me after. People were so happy and proud of me. Thinking about it, it still makes me happy.
I really want to be in Phoenix.

2. I am presently: wanting to sleep, watching my ADORABLE hamster chew up whatever she's chewing up, in pajamas, typing, and feeling simultaneously fantastic and terrible at the same time.

3. Teching for URINETOWN.
Despite the fact that I was told I MUST do this very late in the game...I had...so...much...fun. Seriously. I don't even know why! It just was fun. The only downside to being backstage for the performance (I couldn't go to one of them) was that I couldn't actually SEE the play. And two of my good friends were leads :( But it's okay. I still got to...hear...everything.

4. Carnet de Voyage.
This amazing book I'm reading. It's actually a travel journal of this guy. It's all sketches and little stories of his trips. So incredible.

5. FRANCE H'OMG.
I am going to France and Switzerland on Friday night. Oh.My.God. I am so excited. I feel so lucky that I can go, and one of my good friends is going too. YAY.

6. HELLO, DOLLY!
(At my old school.) I went to hang out with my bestest bud today at PHS because I didn't have that much homework. And the homework that I had I didn't end up doing. I'm sucha failure! Anyway...it is SO nervewracking being back in my old school. My stomach ended up hurting like hell, and I was afraid to go anywhere alone. I feel so ridiculous when I go there...like people have either: honestly forgotten who I am/that I was ever there, or that they actually care about me. And if it's the latter, I've probably seen them outside of school. ANYWAY. DAMN. I am going off on tangents tonight really easily. I am so fucking sad because I am missing every.single.one.of.their.performances.because.of.France. I am leaving opening night and coming back just a few mere hours after their last performance. I am so sad...if any of you are reading this...I love you so much and I feel absolutely terrible...I cannot believe that the timing is so bad. But DO expect me at another rehearsal this week :) I will be popping in and out. YAY. Lots of broken legs, people!

7. I am so completely torn between two people right now. I know that sounds so weird, and...conceited...and just nasty? But. I think...I think I might really be falling for one of them. I don't know how that is possible. And the other...I'm just drawn to them. And I shouldn't be. And I can't be. I can't explain it, at all. These two things are coinciding on levels that you wouldn't believe. I don't even begin to undestand this. But what I DO know is, I can't stop thinking about it.
PS to #7. If you ask me about this in real life, I will walk away. Hah. Well, not really. Please do not be offended, but I will not be talking about this with anyone for awhile.

8. Time to sleep.
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ.

Bye...for now, I guess.
xx

Song of the Day: Run Freedom Run - Urinetown

Cheering up.

Ferris Bueller's Day Off. Especially the TWIST AND SHOUT scene.

Watch it over and over, and I guarantee you will not stay in a bad mood.

Bye!
xx

Song of the Day: 1945 - Neutral Milk Hotel

ONE WEEK

Its been one week since you looked at me
Cocked your head to the side and said I'm angry.
Five days since you laughed at me
Saying get that together come back and see me
Three days since the living room
I realized its all my fault, but couldn't tell you
Yesterday you'd forgiven me
But it'll still be two days till I say I'm sorry
-One Week, the Barenaked Ladies

However great that song is, it's not what this post is about. There is exactly one week until the first performance of the play I'm in. I got home from rehearsal at about...8:30 tonight. (I live about 20 minutes away from my school.) Then I watched "SPECTACULAR!" on Nickelodeon.

Forgive me, please. But the guy was very cute and the two leads actually kissed at the end. Which never happens on TV. So that made it better.

ANYWAY. PLAY. So yeah. We just moved into the actual performance space and it's like twice the size of the space we've been rehearsing in. Yesterday's rehearsal was kind of faulty, and no one was really on their game. It's mad hard trying to figure out all the blocking after moving to a bigger space.
Today was good though :-)
I think it's gonna turn out well.

This weekend includes:

1. sleeping late. FINALLY.
2. a paaaaaaarty.
3. working at the bakery all day Sunday
4. HOMEWORK. and lots of it.
5. THE OSCARS. YESYESYEYSYESY.

I'm so excited. Hugh Jackman is hosting :D
Wow HUGH is a really weird word.
I need to go to bed.
G'night.
xx

Song of the Day: All American Girl - Carrie Underwood

Thoughts on life, love, and...blogs?

Yesturrdaiiiiii was Valentine's Day. Wahoo! I worked all day at the bakery and then hung out with some of my bestest buds. Not a bad day to say the least. The ONLY bad thing is the people complaining about or talking about "Single's Awareness Day." WTF.

Repeat after me: IT IS JUST A HOLIDAY. NOO. SCRATCH THAT. IT IS JUST A DAY! That's it! The only thing that makes it different is that you can buy cards for the day and make Hallmark rich.

I'm kind of at a good point right now, relationship and socially wise. I have the best friends ever. It's insane. I don't think I should be allowed to take all the good ones, but too bad. I already did. :-)
And, I don't have a boyfriend. It's totally fine. I possibly maybe probably like someone. A lot. But just maybe. And I just got over someone. So it's actually a really good feeling.
I'm supported completely in my life. A boyfriend is someone who you can just take it a little farther with. Think about it. It's not a huge deal. BUT!If you have a boyfriend/girlfriend right now, please don't take offense. I know what it feels like. So happy Valentine's Day to you guyses. I hope you had a great day!

Yes, last year I kind of had someone to spend it with. That was really nice. But the timing just fit that way. I actually didn't even remember it was Valentine's Day yesterday until I got to work and I saw that all the cupcakes had hearts on them. So cute! ANYWAYS...um. I lost my train of thought.

I guess I just find myself a little bit lonely right now. At some times. I convince myself that I'm not, that I'm so lucky, and I guess that's true. I've got so much to live for and so many people who love me and care about me. I don't need a boyfriend!
(Tehe. What a teenager-y rant!)
Sometimes I just feel this longing for something, for someone to be beside me as I write this. For someone to understand me on a deeper level. Come on. It's possible. I'm not that complicated.

Life would be absolutely incredible right now if I didn't have to finish this English essay. I think I'm just going to relax for now, and write it really late tonight. That's when the thoughts start coming! At around 3 o'clock in the morning, when there's nothing better to do and nothing on TV. Haha.

Also, I just had a couple of friends get boyfriends right around Valentine's Day. I think that's abso-fucking-lutely adorable. Aw. So cute. Congrats, guys, if you're reading this.

ALSO
I would like to thank everyone who's come up to me, whether it's been in the halls, or on the bus, or at lunch, or even on AIM, to tell me that they've been reading my blog.
THANK YOU GUYS! It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. YOU make me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.
I think blogs are cool. Especially if people actually read them.


I wish you were with me.


Have a great night, everyone.
Bye. xx

Song of the Day: the entire soundtrack to Dr. Horrible's Sing Along Blog

PS.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

What I could/should/want to be doing right now.

1. My World History homework. Blegh. Annotations.
2. Reading my dad's book.
   
3. Eating a piece of strawberry rhubarb pie.
4. Not being on Facebook.
5. Breathing.
6. Watching my dog sleep.
7. Fixing my webcam.
8. Squealing over how cute my hamster is.
9. Thinking it's funny that my lizard is always staring at my hamster. (Ha ha don't worry, they're not in the same cage - just side by side)
10. Anything but this.

^^But I won't actually tell you WHAT I'm doing or what I wish I was doing, or what I should be doing.


Tra la laaaaa.
I'm so freaking tired. I need sleep. THANK GOD TOMORROW'S FRIDAY :D

Until next time.
Bye. xx

Song of the Day: The Call - Backstreet Boys