That must make up for SOMETHING, right?
Right. right. I am writing a short story. I have a lot of really cool ideas and I already got a LOT of it down on paper (and when I say that I mean I typed a lot of it haphazardly). I'm excited. This could be pretty cool. Even though it's for school and it's this late and I don't feel like doing anything...this could be pretty cool.
Let's hope so.
xxxx
S
Song of the Day: Breakeven- The Script
Saturday, May 22, 2010
Dear Diary,
I feel like curling up in a really big field near a river (i don't know why it just sounds great cos it's out of my house...) and sleeping until, like, 4 years from now. What happened in my audition last night juxtaposed to what is contained in this weekend has shown me that I've actually finally broke. Of course I'll keep going, but I feel like my personality already has changed a huge amount. I just can't do this anymore.
Whatever. It was bound to come some time.
Fuck you, NYSSMA, SAT, being at school 24/7. Sorry life. I'm not exactly thrilled with you right now.
loves and hugs and kisses but NOT REALLY AT ALL,
shana
Whatever. It was bound to come some time.
Fuck you, NYSSMA, SAT, being at school 24/7. Sorry life. I'm not exactly thrilled with you right now.
loves and hugs and kisses but NOT REALLY AT ALL,
shana
Saturday, March 13, 2010
I don't know how to title this.
On February 28th, a man named Sir Barry Bowen perished in Belize after crashing his plane. He brought along with him a couple named Michael and Jill Casey, along with their two children. Michael was the principal of the experimental school in a tiny town in Belize called Gallon Jug. Jill was the sister of one of the owners at a lodge nearby Gallon Jug called Chan Chich. All of them died and were then laid to rest the day following.
Why am I writing about this? I have been going to Chan Chich lodge in Belize since I was six years old. This means that the first time my family brought me there, my brother was only three. To get to Chan Chich, you have to fly into Belize City Airport and then take a little tiny 6 person plane to Gallon Jug. Once you're there, a guide picks you up in a van and drives for about half an hour into the rainforest. Chan Chich is situated in an old Mayan site, and there are lots of different ancient buildings that are now covered by years of dirt, grass, and vegetation. I have been going there every year since I was six years old, but I haven't been there in about a year and a half now. My family's schedule has been too hectic to get us all there (even though there's only four us) but we are planning to go back as soon as possible...partly because of this news.
My family has seen Chan Chich go through several different managements and seen even more developments and buildings being built and roads being carved out. We go there because it's actually one of the few places that has preserved rain forest. We see all sorts of animals, including large cats, koatamundis, and so many different types of birds. We wake up every morning around 4(unfortunately) to the sound of howler monkeys, which still manages to freak the hell out of me, but then sometimes get to fall back asleep. I've known the guides there for 10 years of my 16 year life. Some of them have seen me grow and mature in a way that is completely different than the way that anyone else has seen me grow up. We begin with hugs and end with wanting to come back again and again.
Barry Bowen made this all possible. He was the heart and soul of Belize, and he made sure that everything in Gallon Jug (the coffeebean farm, the horseback riding, Chan Chich, and the experimental school) were run well and safely. His name is on every water bottle that you find in Belize and he was the biggest, most important business tycoon of the entire country.
I've only visited the Gallon Jug Community School a few times. It covers several grades (I don't remember which) but everytime we've been there, everyone has been kind and wonderful. My father has entered contests in which money is donated to them.
Along with the loss of Barry Bowen is the principal of this school, as well as his wife and two children.
I don't know how much is going to change about Belize, the Belize I've known my whole life, but I'm scared to find out. I can just hope that the families who have been affected by this, even more than I have, as well as the whole of Belize (and I am not stressing nearly enough how much this man meant to the country) can keep on functioning to the best of their ability.
My father just told me this today, and I don't know how to handle it.
Some things are too good to stay, I guess.
I am sorry that this is so different than my regular blogposts, but I feel so crushed because this has been such a central part of my life for the majority of it. I will be posting again soon, but I don't know what else to think about right now.
Rest in Peace. I know everyone is thinking of you.
Thanks for reading. <3.
Why am I writing about this? I have been going to Chan Chich lodge in Belize since I was six years old. This means that the first time my family brought me there, my brother was only three. To get to Chan Chich, you have to fly into Belize City Airport and then take a little tiny 6 person plane to Gallon Jug. Once you're there, a guide picks you up in a van and drives for about half an hour into the rainforest. Chan Chich is situated in an old Mayan site, and there are lots of different ancient buildings that are now covered by years of dirt, grass, and vegetation. I have been going there every year since I was six years old, but I haven't been there in about a year and a half now. My family's schedule has been too hectic to get us all there (even though there's only four us) but we are planning to go back as soon as possible...partly because of this news.
My family has seen Chan Chich go through several different managements and seen even more developments and buildings being built and roads being carved out. We go there because it's actually one of the few places that has preserved rain forest. We see all sorts of animals, including large cats, koatamundis, and so many different types of birds. We wake up every morning around 4(unfortunately) to the sound of howler monkeys, which still manages to freak the hell out of me, but then sometimes get to fall back asleep. I've known the guides there for 10 years of my 16 year life. Some of them have seen me grow and mature in a way that is completely different than the way that anyone else has seen me grow up. We begin with hugs and end with wanting to come back again and again.
Barry Bowen made this all possible. He was the heart and soul of Belize, and he made sure that everything in Gallon Jug (the coffeebean farm, the horseback riding, Chan Chich, and the experimental school) were run well and safely. His name is on every water bottle that you find in Belize and he was the biggest, most important business tycoon of the entire country.
I've only visited the Gallon Jug Community School a few times. It covers several grades (I don't remember which) but everytime we've been there, everyone has been kind and wonderful. My father has entered contests in which money is donated to them.
Along with the loss of Barry Bowen is the principal of this school, as well as his wife and two children.
I don't know how much is going to change about Belize, the Belize I've known my whole life, but I'm scared to find out. I can just hope that the families who have been affected by this, even more than I have, as well as the whole of Belize (and I am not stressing nearly enough how much this man meant to the country) can keep on functioning to the best of their ability.
My father just told me this today, and I don't know how to handle it.
Some things are too good to stay, I guess.
I am sorry that this is so different than my regular blogposts, but I feel so crushed because this has been such a central part of my life for the majority of it. I will be posting again soon, but I don't know what else to think about right now.
Rest in Peace. I know everyone is thinking of you.
Thanks for reading. <3.
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
hello, snow.
Hi everyone.
I'm sitting in my room (close this window now if you don't want to hear about my day, because that's what this is going to be about. okay.) and looking out my window. The snow is STILL coming down pretty damn steadily, and everytime I look, it makes me happy. I mean, I love when I wake up and the snow has already stopped and it's all quiet and stuff, but it just feels so wonderful to be inside and for it to still be snowing. I don't know why I can't explain it, but I know some people must feel the same way.
Okay. I just read a chapter of my book for AP English, Invisible Man by Ralph Ellison. It is QUITE POSSIBLY the BEST book I've read in a very long time, and I'm really enjoying it. Unfortunately, the chapter I just spent an hour reading wasn't that exciting...and therefore this part of the post isn't that exciting either. What I'm saying it, I was sitting here reading and listening to the Hair soundtrack on my speakers (...duh?) and looking out the window, and I kept getting the strangest feeling. Everytime I looked out the window my heart almost skipped a beat...which I find really strange. It keeps happening to me even as I'm writing, now, and a smile was actually just brought to my face as I looked at the mini-forest in my backyard and all of the outlines of the black trees compared to the snow weighing them down. My stomach almost feels like butterflies and I'm actually starting to really wonder why I'm feeling like this. I guess...I mean, I don't really know, but I'm just glad about this day. I've had kind of a hard time with my family lately, and it's just nice to be able to sit here and watch something that's completely out of my control, like NATURE! :)
If you're reading this today, after I've posted, go look out your window. Periodically a gust of wind will bring the snow crashing (softly, but nonetheless crashing) against your window, and it might leave a little design with the snowflakes. I don't know why I feel so poetic right now, but I guess it might be for a couple of reasons.
1) Valentine's Day is coming up, so there's a lot of energy. Everywhere. At school, in the city, in stores, and especially in Hallmark. If you want to see the post I'm proudest of on here, it's actually about Valentine's Day. Go to the sidebar thingy and look for February 2009, and it'll be one of the posts in that folder. Go read that, and then come back here. I'll wait.
....you done? Good.
Well, it's not that I'm NOT a fan of Valentine's Day, because I love love (..hah) but it just makes me a little sad. I'm not going to rant about it being Single's Awareness Day (oh hardy har...SAD as an acronym...ergh) or anything, but it is kind of disappointing how commercialized it is. I appreciate that people want to show how much they love (or appreciate) each other at this point in the game, but I always make handmade valentines. Buying them from Hallmark or whatever seems cute, but it actually means so much more if you actually write something yourself.
I'm not saying I don't WANT someone to be with me on Valentine's Day, because come one! Don't kid yourself if you're single. There's bound to be something in the back of your head saying that, but I really have recently realized how appreciative I can be of my life UNTIL I get someone who actually really matters. I have, by far, the most incredible friends at Masters and elsewhere and I am so constantly filled up with love that it makes me feel all fluttery and what not. I have learned to love because of them, so I'll be ready when someone, who I probably don't even know yet, is as well. I like the candy on Valentine's day, though. Except those chalky hearts. My heart almost broke when I found out at the bakery that the "Fax Me" ones have been terminated. :(
2) The weather, obviously. (Did you forget what I was talking about? A refresher: why I feel so poetryish. You're welcome.) I don't need to talk more about it, but it's just SO damn beautiful.
3) The fact that I feel kind of productive today. I've already done SOME homework, but I am planning on doing more after this. APUSH HERE I COME.
Yeah. I guess that's it.
ALSO: Hair posted a thing last night for NYC students giving them discounts because of the snow day...and I got SO excited and was actually about 2 seconds from going in today until I realized it would be MUCH more convenient if I actually lived in the city and wasn't scared of the fact that the trains wouldn't be able to return me to Westchester. Brr. I'm kinda disappointed because this seemed like a good opportunity, but seriously? Who am I kidding? I don't know how this show has developed into such a big part of me, but I love it. So that's why I listened/sang to the soundtrack today.
(Sorry, boring.)
Anyway. If anyone reads this, thanks. Of course now, my parents are yelling about work and stuff, so I guess I'll get up and close the door which means I need to end this post.
Thanks, guys, and know that I love you.
<3 I really do.
Have a delicious snow day, NY people.
Bye. xx
Song of the Day: I don't know, actually. I've listened to so much music today, so: the Hair Soundtracks, the Aquabats, Title of Show and the sounds of the Food Network. heh.
LOOK HOW PURTY.
I'm sitting in my room (close this window now if you don't want to hear about my day, because that's what this is going to be about. okay.) and looking out my window. The snow is STILL coming down pretty damn steadily, and everytime I look, it makes me happy. I mean, I love when I wake up and the snow has already stopped and it's all quiet and stuff, but it just feels so wonderful to be inside and for it to still be snowing. I don't know why I can't explain it, but I know some people must feel the same way.
Okay. I just read a chapter of my book for AP English, Invisible Man by Ralph Ellison. It is QUITE POSSIBLY the BEST book I've read in a very long time, and I'm really enjoying it. Unfortunately, the chapter I just spent an hour reading wasn't that exciting...and therefore this part of the post isn't that exciting either. What I'm saying it, I was sitting here reading and listening to the Hair soundtrack on my speakers (...duh?) and looking out the window, and I kept getting the strangest feeling. Everytime I looked out the window my heart almost skipped a beat...which I find really strange. It keeps happening to me even as I'm writing, now, and a smile was actually just brought to my face as I looked at the mini-forest in my backyard and all of the outlines of the black trees compared to the snow weighing them down. My stomach almost feels like butterflies and I'm actually starting to really wonder why I'm feeling like this. I guess...I mean, I don't really know, but I'm just glad about this day. I've had kind of a hard time with my family lately, and it's just nice to be able to sit here and watch something that's completely out of my control, like NATURE! :)
If you're reading this today, after I've posted, go look out your window. Periodically a gust of wind will bring the snow crashing (softly, but nonetheless crashing) against your window, and it might leave a little design with the snowflakes. I don't know why I feel so poetic right now, but I guess it might be for a couple of reasons.
1) Valentine's Day is coming up, so there's a lot of energy. Everywhere. At school, in the city, in stores, and especially in Hallmark. If you want to see the post I'm proudest of on here, it's actually about Valentine's Day. Go to the sidebar thingy and look for February 2009, and it'll be one of the posts in that folder. Go read that, and then come back here. I'll wait.
....you done? Good.
Well, it's not that I'm NOT a fan of Valentine's Day, because I love love (..hah) but it just makes me a little sad. I'm not going to rant about it being Single's Awareness Day (oh hardy har...SAD as an acronym...ergh) or anything, but it is kind of disappointing how commercialized it is. I appreciate that people want to show how much they love (or appreciate) each other at this point in the game, but I always make handmade valentines. Buying them from Hallmark or whatever seems cute, but it actually means so much more if you actually write something yourself.
I'm not saying I don't WANT someone to be with me on Valentine's Day, because come one! Don't kid yourself if you're single. There's bound to be something in the back of your head saying that, but I really have recently realized how appreciative I can be of my life UNTIL I get someone who actually really matters. I have, by far, the most incredible friends at Masters and elsewhere and I am so constantly filled up with love that it makes me feel all fluttery and what not. I have learned to love because of them, so I'll be ready when someone, who I probably don't even know yet, is as well. I like the candy on Valentine's day, though. Except those chalky hearts. My heart almost broke when I found out at the bakery that the "Fax Me" ones have been terminated. :(
2) The weather, obviously. (Did you forget what I was talking about? A refresher: why I feel so poetryish. You're welcome.) I don't need to talk more about it, but it's just SO damn beautiful.
3) The fact that I feel kind of productive today. I've already done SOME homework, but I am planning on doing more after this. APUSH HERE I COME.
Yeah. I guess that's it.
ALSO: Hair posted a thing last night for NYC students giving them discounts because of the snow day...and I got SO excited and was actually about 2 seconds from going in today until I realized it would be MUCH more convenient if I actually lived in the city and wasn't scared of the fact that the trains wouldn't be able to return me to Westchester. Brr. I'm kinda disappointed because this seemed like a good opportunity, but seriously? Who am I kidding? I don't know how this show has developed into such a big part of me, but I love it. So that's why I listened/sang to the soundtrack today.
(Sorry, boring.)
Anyway. If anyone reads this, thanks. Of course now, my parents are yelling about work and stuff, so I guess I'll get up and close the door which means I need to end this post.
Thanks, guys, and know that I love you.
<3 I really do.
Have a delicious snow day, NY people.
Bye. xx
Song of the Day: I don't know, actually. I've listened to so much music today, so: the Hair Soundtracks, the Aquabats, Title of Show and the sounds of the Food Network. heh.
LOOK HOW PURTY.
Monday, January 25, 2010
on hiatus by force
...of school and life.
I'm sorry. For some reason, if there's something on my mind nowadays, I don't seem to want to make the effort to write about it. I doubt anyone reads this anymore...(like that many people did) but I will try my best to keep on writing. It will be less often, though. I've discovered it's kind of hard to handle all of this stuff.
I should have been in bed fast asleep by now. But nope.
And I'm okay with that for a couple of reasons :)
...I think I'll at least GET in bed now and probably do some more work.
Anyway, if anyone reads this, leave me a comment or talk to me in school and I'll write something for you. It's just the 'thinking of' thing I haven't been bothering doing..
I apologize.
Goodnight xx
Song of the Day: Fallin' and Flyin' - Jeff Bridges and Colin Farrell, Crazy Heart
I'm sorry. For some reason, if there's something on my mind nowadays, I don't seem to want to make the effort to write about it. I doubt anyone reads this anymore...(like that many people did) but I will try my best to keep on writing. It will be less often, though. I've discovered it's kind of hard to handle all of this stuff.
I should have been in bed fast asleep by now. But nope.
And I'm okay with that for a couple of reasons :)
...I think I'll at least GET in bed now and probably do some more work.
Anyway, if anyone reads this, leave me a comment or talk to me in school and I'll write something for you. It's just the 'thinking of' thing I haven't been bothering doing..
I apologize.
Goodnight xx
Song of the Day: Fallin' and Flyin' - Jeff Bridges and Colin Farrell, Crazy Heart
Friday, December 25, 2009
Holy crap, I am really sorry
I have neglected this for more than a month. Jesus Christ. (Hah...it's Christmas...ha...) Well, actually, it's not Christmas anymore. It's 23 minutes past it. I hope everyone was in good cheer and got lots of presents and blah blah blah. But seriously, from what I've heard, it was a good one. I hope everyone had fun.
I, I went into Chinatown with my family, as any typical Jew would on Christmas, and ate Chinese food. I also bought a shitload of Chinese food and candy, which I'm a sucker for (unfortunately). I've been eating it all night, but my brother finished his little bag of candy in the half hour time period right after buying it. Woooo..
I also watched Up for the first time today. My god. What a terrific movie. Seriously, Pixar, you are fantastic. Not that we don't know that already.
ANNNNNNDD on the subject of movies, movies and plays are my focus this break. I even made a list.
Movies to See/Watch
I, I went into Chinatown with my family, as any typical Jew would on Christmas, and ate Chinese food. I also bought a shitload of Chinese food and candy, which I'm a sucker for (unfortunately). I've been eating it all night, but my brother finished his little bag of candy in the half hour time period right after buying it. Woooo..
I also watched Up for the first time today. My god. What a terrific movie. Seriously, Pixar, you are fantastic. Not that we don't know that already.
ANNNNNNDD on the subject of movies, movies and plays are my focus this break. I even made a list.
Movies to See/Watch
- Avatar
- Up in the Air
- Sherlock Holmes
- Fantastic Mr. Fox
- Me and Orson Welles
- Crazy Heart
- Invictus
- A Single Man
and on DVD...Star Trek (...I know, I know, but I got it for Hanukkah and it makes me almost as happy [if not a bit more] than Ferris Bueller so...yeah), North By Northwest (another Hanukkah present...Cary Grant <3),>
SO FAR I HAVE SEEN: Avatar. Fantastic Mr. Fox. Up. Star Trek. North by Northwest.
I've been trying to do, like, one a day so I don't get TOOO fat by just sitting and watching movies. OK. Quick reviews of movies in theatres:
AVATAR.
Holy mother of GOD. HOLY MOTHER OF GOD. This is a phenomonal movie. It is possibly the most visually pleasing and mindblowingly beautiful film I have seen in my entire life. All the acting is done wonderfully, especially Michelle Rodriguez's little part- she kicks ass. Such a great movie. Please see it, if not for the storyline then just for the experience, before it leaves theatres. Which won't be anytime soon, so you're lucky.
Fantastic Mr. Fox
Holy mother of God! This is ALSO a great movie. Like Avatar, the animation is fantastic but obviously in a completely different way. I've always been partial to stop-motion because I grew up on Wallace and Gromit (Hardy har har..) but this just blew my mind. The addition of the voices of Meryl Streep, George Clooney, and the guy who voices Kristofferson (...sorry, actor) were great as well. Overall, an entirely satisfying movie. An adorable story told by adorable puppets. Just go see it. And be happy.
Okay. I also saw West Side Story (ergh) and Superior Donuts (YAY!)...which are plays, for those who don't know, but I'll be reviewing them in the next post. Sorry for so much movie-talk, but that's really what is running through my head most of the time.
I hope everyone had a great holiday, and for my jewish brothers and sisters I hope your Hanukkahs were as great as mine :)
....and to all a good night!
Bye. xx
Song of the Day: every christmas carol but especially Mariah Carey's...and I See You- Leona Lewis.
Thursday, November 26, 2009
I saw Hair.
It changed my life. End of story. I will write all about it tomorrow, but it's super late right now. This is just a heads up!
ALSO happy thanksgiving to all of you my dear friends. I do hope that it was as wonderful as mine. I am thankful for so many things:
My family. My wonderful, wonderful family. Just to begin with.
- My friends.
- My DOG (that's funny I tried to write dog and wrote god instead...)
- the chances I get at Masters to pursue directing
- tea
- people who push and don't ever stop pushing for equality
- Hair. the cast of Hair. the music of Hair.
- Brett Erlich.
- Movies.
- Books.
- the Food Network.
- german techno.
- pillows.
- indie scarves.
- freedom.
- anyone who has ever made an impact on me
- Equus.
- grass.
- George Orwell
- Barack Obama (!!!!!!!!!!!!)
- the lightbulb
- chocolate chips
- Gavin Creel
- pirates (not of the Somalian variation)
- people who love me. people who I love.
Guys...I'm so thankful. I have so much to live for. Thank you.
Goodnight
xx.
Song of the Day: EVERY SINGLE FUCKING SONG FROM HAIR.
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