cool. cool life

For some reason I feel as if life really can't just leave itself be for a little while. For instance, I don't need to reiterate the fact that I don't get any sleep (partially responsible is the fact that I spend my time doing this) and am stressed out all the time, but REALLY?

The case in matter: My wood floors are being redone this week. As in the whole house REEKS of turpentine and we can't eat or walk in the kitchen? We've had takeout for the past two nights and then I basically just go hide in my room for the rest of the night, with my homework and whatnot, trying to escape the unescapable smell.

SERIOUSLY WTF. I always feel like there's gotta be something. This isn't a great example because it's not THAT big of a deal, but whatever.

Anyway it rained today. And I was depressed by the end of the day - play just ended and no matter how much I think I'm gonna see these people...I'm really not. And it makes me really sad. I mean, I always try SO HARD to stay good friends with people I care about, but it's too fucking hard right now. And that makes me really sad.

Needless to say: everyone at school is amazing. I really DO love you guys, and I appreciate the fact that each and every day you put up with shit and don't slap me silly. :) :) :) :) :)

But yeah. Play was fucking great, even though a lot of people didn't like the play. I actually ended up liking it a lot more than I thought I would, especially because of the performances.

ALSO HARRY POTTER CLUB STARTED TODAY and I'm so excited. I'm "Deputy Headmistress" and Head of Gryffindor. Woohoo :D To all my Gryffindor-lings, we're gonna kick some ass.

Despite all of this, I still have some homework left to do. And I know IN FACT that I will get in bed by 11 tonight, because I'm going to physically make myself do it.



....but I'm not tired. I'm not wired, though, either. I'm just kinda in this weird, perpetual state of sadhappycontentscaredness these days, and especially today. I don't know what I want, but I know that I won't be able to sleep trying to think about it.
:-/

I just wish things could lay themselves out in front of me on a big table, and I could pick and choose what I wanted. But hey, that wouldn't be life now would it?

Okay. Time to leave.

BUT BEFORE I GO: ROSHAN.DAVID.JAMIE. =PEOPLE WHO ACTUALLY CAME UP TO ME AND TALKED TO ME ABOUT MY BLOG. When people do this, they really make me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. I appreciate it tremendous amounts, and I really mean it. Thanks so so much guys, and I will definitely write more often now.

Now to leave with random thoughts and then work and then sleep:
(My foot is asleep gahh)
((I feel like crying))
(((If you could only hug me for one minute more, I'd be happy.))) I know this one is cheesy, but what am I supposed to do? Tell my brain to stop thinking teenage thoughts?

K. Goodnight. I hope all of you guys have good days/hours/seconds/weeks.
xx

Song of the Day: Fireflies- Owl City

HOOOOOOOOOLY SHIT.

Okay, so it's not like I've been gone for a month and a half or something from this...nah. Nothing like that at all.

JUNIOR YEAR IS FUCKING HARD, DAMMIT. I don't get much sleep, and I'm constantly breaking down. It's okay, though (well kinda), because my friends and acting and stuff are all amazing right now. I just don't really get a huge amount of time to relax (or write on this), unless I'm procrastinating. Like right now :D

Too much shit has gone down (I feel so stupid for writing that but my brain isn't REALLLY working right now) in the past month for this one, short post.

:(

The play is on Friday :D I'm so excited. I'm so tired. AHHH AP ENGLISH STOP KILLING ME.


Okay. It's 10:22. I have to be in bed by 11. Possible?

Probably not.

Am I going to try my hardest?


...I don't know.

Okay so in apology for not writing for about 823947234 years, here's a cute picture.

















Okay. I will leave you all with several things running through my head:
(I miss you so much. I can't believe this happened, and my stomach hurts perpetually now because I can't talk to you.)
((You're so cute! AGHH my god.))
(((I don't know anymore. But a good "idk." If that makes any sense.)))
((((...just let me go to sleep, AP English. Let me rest.))))

G'night.
xx

Song of the Day: (THERE ARE ACTUALLY THREE TO MAKE UP! WOOHOO!)

1. I Won't Say (I'm in Love) -Hercules
2. Billie Jean - Michael Jackson
3. On Love, In Sadness - Jason Mraz